The Experience of Major Depressive Disorder
Major depressive disorder is a mental disease characterized by low mood, which is accompanied by low self-esteem. Sometimes an individual can lose interest especially on enjoyable activities. This is a complex disease, which interferes with the daily living activities of an individual and his or her normal functioning. It can cause stress to the person suffering from this disease and even it may affect the whole family. This disease makes an individual to feel tired, experience headaches and other physical complaints are usually common. Psychologists argue that this disorder is caused by biological, psychological and social factors are the contributory factor of depression. However, others argue that this disorder may be genetic or result due to the interaction between the different environments.
One of the things that I used to do when I was a child was skateboarding. I used to play this game especially on weekends. I could go to different places where people were few with my friends in order to get enough space for skateboarding. However, it took some years when I could no longer accompany my friends for skateboarding. I lost my interest and every moment my friends used to question the reason I am always sad and not ready to play with them. Actually, I realized that I could not even perform most of school activities and teachers were worried about me. My parents too were worried because I lost interest in many enjoyable activities and most of the time I was stressed without knowing the real cause of my stress. Actually, many psychologists argue that children suffering from depressive disorder tend to lack physical abilities such as expressing their emotional and cognitive state of minds.
The most recent story is when the cups that I was holding fell on the floor and they were broken into pieces. Immediately I sat on the floor because I felt that my head was aching and my legs became numb. I withdrew from my social friends and every time during games, I could go and sit a lone in the classroom. Even at home, I vacated from doing core activities and I rarely ate with my family. I was often lonely and I tried as much as possible that no body could interfere with my life. My usual perfect work performance decreased in school and every time my tutor warned me that am not performing well. Now I understand what happened when I was a child is that I was suffering from a depressive disorder. This is because lack of companionship, stress and loss of interest in skateboarding that I liked most was among the signs and symptoms that I was suffering from this disorder.
Most of the time I felt completely out of control of my feelings and sometimes I could not stay in the same place for too long. Sometimes I became happy for a short while and then became depressed again. I remember there was a time my parents took me to an exhibition show because they taught that maybe I could become happier. It was along journey so we woke up very earlier in the morning. However, that time I was so happy and my parents were glad to see me in a happy mood. My dad told to enter inside the vehicle but at first, I wanted to be left alone. My mother told me that I could not be left a lone because the journey to the exhibition show was purposely meant for me. I did not to argue with them because I knew after all they could take me by force so I had no choice thus I accepted and entered inside the vehicle.
I actually cannot recall not having disruptive sleep ever except for a one-year period and this was when we started the journey to the exhibition show. Sleeping is one of the symptoms that are commonly experienced by individuals suffering from mental disorder. Some psychologists argue that sleepiness is rarely experienced by those individuals suffering from depressive disorder. This symptom is dangerous because sometimes long-term drug use can worsen the depressive symptoms. Furthermore, those individuals who experience this signs need attention care because one may fall asleep during the daytime. A person feels like the head is heavy and immediately may fall down because of too much drowsy. Moreover, diagnosis may be delayed when signs are taken to mean as normal moodiness. Now I understand why my parents could not be able to recognize that I was suffering from depressive disorder. This is because they interpreted my symptoms as normal moodiness and they could not bother to take me to hospital.
I was astonished when my mother called me loudly and she told me that they have tried to wake me up for a long time. They asked me if I was not feeling well but I told them that I was well. Sometimes I felt hearted because I did not want to be woken up and I felt like killing myself with no good reason. Many people argue that those individuals suffering from mental disorder especially children mostly feel hearted or try to kill themselves. However, some researchers argue that youths also may think or talk about death when they are depressed. Usually, children and teenagers may have comparable symptoms and their thoughts and feelings appear to be experienced when there are certain sad events.
In the exhibition show, I was so happy to see different things but after some few minutes, I left my parents and went outside. By then, I was not in my mood so I decided to leave that place alone. In fact, mood disorder usually is experienced at the period of depression and it sometimes alternates with the period of prominent mood. I experienced this problem of not being in my moods most of the time. This is because sometimes I could change my moods and even I did not want anybody to talk to me. Some researchers argue that major depressive episodes will occur for a period of more than a month. Some people argue that there are deep changes that patients undergo in their lives. These changes vary with time, they include motor functioning, physical, and thinking and these changes varies withy time.
I was very exhausted by the time I reached home. My parents could not believe when they came and found me after they traced me for a long time. I remember another incidence that happened to me last year. It was like a tragedy because I could not believe my eyes. It was one morning when my father sent me for a credit card in a nearby shop. I was walking slowly while thinking about the class work that I was supposed to do. Immediately something came to my mind and I felt that it was the end of my world. It was like a tragedy because I found myself down in the road and the car was just standing nearby. Hey, young man “is your head normal”. The owner of the vehicle shouted pitilessly. Are you tired with your life or there is something wrong with you, “the driver asked me”.
I did not know the way that incidence of the accident occurred because I felt like dizziness when I was crossing on the road and I immediately fell down. That was the time the car which was driving on a higher speed slowed down because it was about to knock me. Even though it did not knock me, I was really feeling painful because I fell down and I was knocked by the stones. Some blood was oozing from one of my legs. What irritated me and I felt that it affected me most is the conservation that I heard people conversing about my life. It was one of our physician neighbors and I heard him saying that my symptoms reveal that I am suffering from a depressive disorder and my parents seem not to have noticed it. This seemed like a tragedy to my life and it real affected me because I could not believe how that one can happen to my life.
This incident made me to realize that this disease is the one that has been making me to behave differently at home even in school. Although, the conversation of about my disease to the public still affects me up to now. Even though, I was already not socializing with people, those who knew about that decided not even to be close to me. It is now that I understand why I used to behave so and I understand now that symptoms of depressive are hard to determine in the earlier stage. I even realized that I lost my memory that is why I did not even see the vehicle that was coming from a far distance. Psychologists argue that, sometimes it is not only the sleepiness that makes someone suffering from the depressive disease to behave this way but also the loss of memory is commonly experienced. Sometimes, one appears normal and for a short time, he or she losses his or her memory.
I had to appreciate myself and even my parents were too remorseful because they did not consult the physician immediately when I started behaving differently from childhood. Actually, I could not blame them because I now comprehend that it is actually hard for one to determine some symptoms and signs of this disease because various personality and development appears to be integral to depression persistence. However, some psychologists argue that a person’s behavioral style of coping may be connected with their resilience. Moreover, depressed individuals may be able to reflect upon their challenge of thinking patterns whereby they often indicate improved mood and low self-esteem. Thus, clinical assessment should be conducted by a trained specialist or a psychologist whereby the patient’s current record should be taken and even the family history. Then treatment should be administered depending on the instructions provided by the physicians. Thus diagnosis and management should be done at earlier stage especially when an individual start showing up some symptoms such too much sleepless or withdrawing from essential activities.
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